the end is near

Remember the ubiquitous New Yorker cartoons showing the scraggle-bearded, be-sandaled gloomster carrying the sign which reads, "the end is near"? Well, I is he. Minus the scraggly beard, the sandals and the gloom. My blessed boneman is removing my cast this coming Monday! However, for now, due to residual limp-wristedness, I won't be able to play the violin. But as Groucho, eyebrows twitching and cigar twiddling, would ask, "But could she play the violin before?"

Please celebrate with me by enjoying the following YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh7D2g5v-Sg

bugs

There's a bug in the blogosphere today. My blog has the dry heaves and double vision. And, like a bad child, it feverishly threw me out of its room. After 30 minutes of wheedling, cajoling, begging, then outright threatening, it still would not OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR RIGHT THIS MINUTE (no, I am not yelling, you little twit). So I called Google and tattled on it. I was told, no problem lady; just change your password.

You people have got to be kidding! I can't remember my own full name half the time, and you want me to CHANGE MY PASSWORD?!?!? Not to mention, I have a cast on clear up to my right armpit and have to type with my left index finger!!! Don't you understand that my left hand is connected to my right brain, where pretty pictures are stacked to the attic but there are NO English words, only Czechoslovakian ones, words that are all spelled with only c's and z's and v's??! Oh sure, I can make up a new password, but I couldn't remember it any more than you, in spite of all of your almighty gigabytes of Googleness, could.  

Would you say this to me even if you knew I'm an invalid??? Ha! I just bet you would, you behemoth breeder of bugs! Well, as that patron saint of everyman, Johnny Carson, would say...

"Cut off your Slauson!"

a cast of thousands

I call it "a cast of thousands" because, in the end, that's what it's going to cost (adios Hawaii :o[ ). The Scottish in me does not think this is amusing at all. Methinks if Lady MacBeth had had a cast it surely would have been as red as this one, especially after using it to club you-know-who over the head. She'd use it as a red flail to out out that damn spot.

But the goofy in me knows that goofy is what will save me, so I'm considering auditioning for the role of Sissy Hankshaw, the swollen-thumbed hitchhiking heroine of Tom Robbins' seminal 1976 novel, "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues".

"Excess of sorrow laughs. Excess of joy weeps." 

-William Blake